Reblog if you had a Tumblr for 5+ years
Anonymous asked:
You have abs???? I imagined you would have a frail ass wizard build
cryptotheism answered:
I’m built like if Hot Topic sold scarecrows you could fuck. I’m built like a washed up pop punk lead singer. I’m built like delinquent-coded female best friend from an early 2000s comedy. I’m built like rapid onset twink necrosis.
I post for the bitches who stutter, misspeak, mumble, and speak with an incoherent flow that only makes sense if you are in my brain
Today I saw a leaf that looked like a frog and I was like haha nice and then it hopped because it WAS a frog and I started crying bc life is really full of everyday miracles including but not limited to experiencing frogs
you got camouflaged dude. If you were frog prey...... hoooo boy
This is Staying In Your Own Lane 101
[internal dialogue] “What the- that guy’s got horns! That’s not normal. Well, not gonna ruin my day.”
shrimb.
Customer: WAIT I FUCKED IT UP CAN I TRY AGAIN
DMV: SHRIMB
Verdict: ACCEPTED
I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements
I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I'm camped out on the shitter today yeehaw
you are so beautiful in every way
We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible
tbh ive drawn buff women for long enough to stop being surprised when people throw nonsense at me like. im not out here claiming i know how to draw the most anatomically accurate buff woman or what certain muscles do when this or that and whatnot. im just tryna draw cool characters man
"this is a man >:((" "not how buff women look like" "male physique" "dont u mean man??"
shut up lmao
when im listening to my own library and playlists i feel like a powerful wizard but when im trying to show my music taste to anyone it feels like i have a shame cone on
The only difference between a wizard hat and a dunce cap is the wide brim of privacy
capitainelevi